Maybe you’ve gathered, from some of my earlier posts and from the very subject of my blog, that I’ve dealt with some real messy business in the past. The song, Like I Wish I’d Lived, was written by Rodney Griffin for me. I don’t mean for me because he wanted the one who sings the high part to sing it. I mean FOR ME. It’s my testimony… My prayer. Some of you may be thinking… Hmmmmmm, I wonder what Chris is guilty of. Well, let me just go ahead and lay that one to rest… That one’s between me, my Lord and those who were affected. The bottom line is this, I can sincerely relate with those of you who are having a tough time moving ahead. It’s easy for those who haven’t carried 1,000 tons of guilt and regret on their shoulders to quote the Bible to us and say, “Hey man, just let Jesus carry that for You… He’s more than able”, and that is true…BUT, those ghosts of guilt continue to haunt! Moving forward is a day to day process.

I’ll never forget that summer evening, in the very midst of my dreary funk, I grew unbelievably desperate for help. I had pitifully cried out to God and I know He heard me because, all in an instant, I was impressed to pick up my lap top and go straight to Google. Or, might I say… “Godgle”. Yep, God works in mysterious ways, doesn’t He?! I was looking for anyone who had stood in my shoes that might have some word of encouragement for me. Just anybody! Just something! Anything! I needed relief!!! Ever been there?

Well, that Heaven inspired search lead me to an ebook written by someone who experienced exactly what I was experiencing. I was just $12.00, from my PayPal to theirs, away from reading one line that would change my whole outlook on this thing that was holding me hostage… My history.

You see, because of my failure, it was my history that had defined me. In the eyes of so many, that’s who I was. How was I ever going to shake this overgrown gorilla off of my back?!

I watched with impatient anticipation as the little thingy that spins on your computer telling you that you’re just going to have to wait until it’s good and ready to stop spinning before you can do one more thing, spun and spun and spun and spun…….. You get the picture. Finally the download was complete and I clicked with the hopes God would give me something to help me sleep.

So, do you remember what we’re dealing with here? Our history? Is yours getting the best of you? Do you look in the rear view mirror of your life and grimace as you think about what’s behind you? I understand how you feel. I hope the truth I’m fixing to share with you helps you like it helped me that night.

Here it is… simple but truly life changing.

“You have the ability to create a brand new history”

Think about it… Every single day that you live in the light takes you one day further away from that darkness that is whooping your tail! Before you know it, you’re gonna have a brand new track record to reflect upon. And whether you believe it or not, those who have formed opinions of you based on the thing or things you’ve done will notice the new road you’ve paved with godly living!

Keep your head up and your shoulders squared back… The past doesn’t have to dictate your future. Just make it your prayer and resolve to walk closer to Christ with every day that comes along. Before you know it, you’ll only see pleasant memories in that rear view mirror!

Another word of encouragement… I REALLY HOPE that this post has helped those of you who struggle with your past to see there’s hope in creating a new history day by day. But, if it really didn’t do it for you… Look on the bright side, it didn’t cost you $12.00!

Now, go ahead and share your thoughts with us!!!  I want to hear from you.


About Chris Allman

I'm one of the millions who have experienced the repercussion of my sinful past. Unlike many, through Christ, I have recognized that the path before me does not have to be determined by the path behind. I have experienced the sweet forgiveness of God and have therefore chosen to walk in that forgiveness. Forgiving self is a day to day task and I believe that's why His mercies are new every morning. I pray that this daily reminder that we can choose to begin living today like we wish we'd lived in the past will be a solace for many who struggle with those things they wish they hadn't done.
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27 Responses to Godgle…….

  1. Glenda says:

    You are right on the money here, Chris! Even those of us who had the good fortune to be raised in a Christian home have many events that we would like to change. Unfortunately, those things will never leave us, but we can take the lessons we have learned and move forward with a greater zeal than if we had never experienced that kind of pain. Most of my painful times deal with my mouth, and hurtful or thoughtless words I have said. As we all know, even though we may apologize to the one we’ve hurt, those words continue to sting, and there’s no way to take them back.There are a couple of examples I’m mulling over in my little mind, and I may send them to you as an email, in case you might want to use them on a “guest” post. I have decided that God spared me from much of myself during my younger years because of a set of praying parents, and yet there were things that I did that would have brought them much shame if they had known. God was merciful in that He did not allow me to get “caught” in some of those experiences, but I’m convinced that His mercy was mainly because of my loving parents who would have been devastated by the possible results of some of my actions. Right now, I have many Facebook friends who are young people, and they send me private messages, asking for advice. I find this to be quite daunting, and I pray about each reply I send. As you know, it’s sometimes difficult to express love to a person without condoning the sin that is causing them problems, and I struggle with finding a way to be honest without being judgmental with them. Whatever that time of crisis was in your life, I’m thankful that God brought you to a point of being who you are today, as you are a real blessing to many! Take care, and know that many prayers are with you daily. 🙂

  2. Ashley A says:

    Thank you Chris!!!
    Satan is always trying to remind us of our past to discourage us. But by the grace of God are we able to rise above every fiery dart of the enemy and overcome. Whenever the devil tries to remind us of our past we must remind him of his future.
    Also thank you for starting this blog it has helped and encouraged me with every post.
    God Bless

    • likeiwishidlived says:

      So glad it’s been a blessing and thanks for sharing! If you aren’t following me via email… Please sign up to get them.

  3. guineagirl07 says:

    That is so true Ashley, Satan’s future is doom, and he knows it, And thank you Chris for starting this blog, loving it, keep up the great work my friend, and God bless you for all you do in His name,

    • likeiwishidlived says:

      Thanks for reading! So glad it’s a blessing. sign up to follow me via email>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  4. bravesfan513 says:

    God bless you, Chris. Your posts are filled to the brim with God’s love and wisdom. Keep it up!

  5. Fran O'Bright says:

    Thank you for sharing what is on your heart. Been there, done that, got the tee shirt…It is so hard to “start now” and stop looking back. Without God, It is impossible!

  6. I love seeing God work…and I love that you trust Him enough to believe in His power to forgive, heal, and use us over and over and over again despite our past failures. From little kids we’ve learned that God throws our sins into the “sea of forgetfulness” never to remember them anymore. But how many Christians really believe He does it? You’re a great inspiration and I love you and am proud to call you my brother. Really my brother ;).

  7. I love to see God work and I love that You have allowed Him to do so in your life. From the time we were young, we’ve been taught that God throws our sins into the “sea of forgetfulness” never to remember them again, but how many Christians truly believe that He can and will and does do it? You’ve been an inspiration to me all of my life; through ups and downs. Your honesty, vulnerability, and complete trust come only from a heart surrendered. I love you and I’m proud that you’re my brother…blood and blood bought.

    • likeiwishidlived says:

      Proud to call you, sis! Thanks for your words of encouragement.

      Here’s another good read…

  8. Your words are so true, as adults we make mistakes that we wish we could have a “do over” or a retake as in the movies, but real life dosen’t work that way. I was there and watched what was happening to you and your family, it made me sad. Sometime we make horrible decisions that can cause a train wreck sometimes others make decisions for us that causes that same kind of wreck. As a child, decisions were made for me that caused me to be a train wreck. Some of us let it destroy our entire lives others are luck enough that we find people along the journey that sees something in us and they point us to God and we find forgiveness not only in the shame that we feel but we find forgiveness for those that inflicted the pain. We are then able to jump to another rail and move toward a productive, happy life with Jesus. One of the good things about going through the train wreck is that we are then placed in positions were we have the opportunity to help others that are dealing with similar stuff. We are God’s living proof that you can get past what they feel is the worst thing in the world. We can offer good sound advice based off of our on experience and hopefully get them to a better rail in life. It took me a while to feel comfortable sharing my story and not be embarrassed to be open with those that needed my help. Your words of encouragement will help lots of others to be able to do the same thing. There are lots of ways that God has allowed us to minister to people, be it through song, preaching or sharing out stories. I am very proud of you Chris, will all have some size gorilla on our backs I am just grateful that you and I didn’t let the gorilla crush us!

    • likeiwishidlived says:

      I am proud to have pastored your family. So glad that God has done a work in both of our lives! Thanks for sharing. Say hi to Tim and the kids 🙂

  9. Janice Allman says:

    I don’t know how many people I have talked with who cannot forgive themselves for their past. One thing God has taught me is that you cannot go back and change the past, God cannot even to that for you but He can help you to the future. Every day is a new day but every prayer should be Lord Help Me To Live Like I Wish I’d Lived In The Past. God bless. Mom

  10. Beverly says:

    My prayer to God everyday is the song you sing,”Like I Wish I’d Lived In The Past.” Chris, your singing with Greater Vision has been a big blessing in my life. Saw you in Visalia, CA, two years in a row. Please keep singing about God’s Word!

  11. Chris,
    I need this song everyone is talking about!! Where do I find it?

  12. Great post, my brother!

  13. vintage1966 says:

    Glad to read a true story like this, true in the sense that past transgressions and it’s consequences don’t vanish in a split second. It’s a ongoing journey…and the positive about the negative is that you know exactly why you never wanna go back there.Though sometimes you kinda seem to go round in circles, we’re still too near home, to turn back!
    Thanks Chris great post!

    • likeiwishidlived says:

      Yep… Consequences are the ripples in the water caused by the you plunge into it. Thanks for reading and sharing!

  14. Beverly says:

    “Like I Wish I’d Lived” is still my favorite song.

  15. Beverly says:

    “The Only Way is still my favorite CD!

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